“Introspection is easy as long as you don’t have to be honest with yourself.” –Jerry Langford
Recently, I was jostled out of my daily dull thinking and heard a challenge to be introspective. No, that’s not a new sexual orientation or gender description. It’s the ability to pause and reflect, to take inventory, to examine yourself and your motivations. So, throwing caution to the wind, I will henceforth commence introspecting.
The goal I have set before myself is to analyze three of my favorite activities and try to understand the odd appeal they have to me. I suspect that I’m the one who’s odd and not the appeal, necessarily. I hope this short trail down Discovery Lane will lead to some new insights about me and the unusual ways I view things.
Disclaimer: I love spending time with my family. Grandchildren are an amazing blessing, too! But they’re not on this list. I love to travel, too, but most of the time I’m traveling to see family members, so that didn’t make the list, either. I guess I’m intrigued about the allure of my hobbies, talents and career choices, so I’m focusing on those in my introspection challenge.
The top 3, in no particular order, are these: broadcasting, illusions, and playing poker. These activities occupy much of my spare time and still provide great joy at this stage of my life.
Broadcasting
It’s the sort of job that I’d volunteer to do if I ever won the lottery. How many people can say that about their chosen career? I am blessed to be in this business and I couldn’t have planned my broadcasting career path if I’d tried! I was blessed with a natural talent, good training, a quick sense of humor, a passion to remain informed about a variety of news and topics, and an ability to connect with people from all walks of life. These gifts have probably allowed me to stay in radio for as long as I have. In an industry that is well known for high-turnover and nomadic on-air talent, I have also been very fortunate to be at the same group of radio stations for quite a long time.
But what is the appeal? The ability to open a microphone and talk to tens of thousands of people (or sometimes hundreds of thousands) has an allure in itself, of course. But that isn’t the appeal to me. Fame is fleeting and, like most things, it doesn’t satisfy long-term. In radio, I find that it is the seriousness of the responsibility that is so appealing to me. Early on, the excitement of talking to so many people at once was nerve-wracking and thrilling. But that novelty wore off quickly and now I am grateful to so many people who appreciate me and rely on me to spend hours with them as they listen to our station. Whether it’s delivering the news, interviewing guests, or sharing stories that inform or brighten their day, it is a huge privilege that I do not take for granted. I love the connection I have with our listeners!
But Jerry, you’re in a room all alone for hours. How do you even know anyone is listening? Well, there are companies that specialize in tracking audience numbers and those are reliable enough to be used for advertising purposes. So we have a pretty good idea, depending on the time of day. Also, and this is another aspect of broadcasting that I love, I frequently work in the community at radio events and I have met thousands of listeners who spend their mornings listening to me. I bring our station’s EZ-up booth to concerts, festivals, conferences, churches, county fairs, comedy nights, etc, and I always meet people who love our station and tolerate my weird sense of humor in the mornings.
Working in radio also networks me with thousands of fascinating people and sometimes I’m asked to speak at churches or groups on behalf of the station. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll remain in my current broadcasting role, but I hope to be involved in some capacity for years to come. Long, long ago, I hosted an afternoon talk show for a couple of years and I really miss the daily challenge that presented. Down the road, I may look for an opportunity to venture back into those deep (and occasionally shallow) conversational waters in Southern California.
Illusions
When I was in the 5th grade, a magician came to my elementary school. Thinking back to my early years, it’s safe to say that I was always an outsider, frequently bullied, and rarely considered a leader. But when that magician needed a volunteer to levitate on a table, he chose me! I was so honored to be part of his stage show and I felt complicit in the illusion he was performing. Even though kids asked me how it had been done, I never told them. It tapped a desire in me to perform and magic had captured my fascination.
Later, a great friend and mentor showed me how much fun it was to perform magic for audiences. I didn’t perform at that time but I learned much from him and it bolstered my confidence to eventually perform myself. About 12 years ago, I used magic tricks to draw listeners to our radio booth when I was working at events. I started off challenging listeners with brain teasers (cups, sticks, number games) and that slowly morphed into performing close-up illusions for small audiences. The reaction was immediate and better than I expected. Soon, our booth was the busiest and most popular at all the events. Listeners and visitors loved playing brain games and taking on magic challenges. They hung out at the booth longer and even invited their friends to come and see for themselves! It was wildly successful.
Within a few years, I added larger illusions to my growing performance and eventually started doing shows in the community. I performed at schools, churches, comedy clubs, military bases, corporate events and private parties. My show continued to evolve and it gravitated to a comedy-magic style of performance. It has been rewarding, profitable and exciting.
Today I call myself an illusionist. I don’t perform magic and I don’t pretend to. The illusions I perform baffle audiences even though they know it doesn’t involve calling on supernatural forces. I tell audiences that they will be deceived by me, but that my deception is harmless and entertaining. In a strange way, they appreciate my honesty about deceiving them. In addition, when I remind them that there is a logical explanation for each trick I perform, I think their fascination and enjoyment are compounded because they’re left wondering how I fooled them!
If I had to analyze the appeal of performing illusions, my answer may surprise you. As a public speaker, it’s great to have some unique ways to “break the ice” or surprise audiences with the unexpected. As an illusionist, audiences bring certain expectations and my goal has always been to exceed those expectations. My arsenal of bizarre and amusing illusions, along with an admittedly humorous delivery, allows me to shock and please audiences in a variety of settings. That is very gratifying but it’s still not the greatest appeal to me personally.
I know this sounds crazy, but I’ll just confide in you about it. Being an illusionist creates this feeling that I have super powers. I know what you’re thinking… you’re not illusional, you’re delusional!
Every kid wants to grow up to become a super hero, right? I was no different and today I feel like I have amazing abilities. Now I don’t believe I actually have super powers, but it’s the closest way I can describe how empowered I feel. I have merely learned tricks and use props to astound people. It’s fun to know the secrets of my trade and it’s even more fun to present mind-boggling illusions to audiences large and small. Plus, it’s not uncommon for me to surprise strangers at airports, restaurants, parties or workplaces with my illusion skills. It’s like having a super power to make people happy.
Poker
I stumbled into playing poker when a group of friends invited me over for an evening of card games. We each brought a few dollars and our small group of 20 competed in a poker tournament. I took first place that night, won $48, and I was hooked.
I learned immediately that I had a natural talent for the game. I had finally found a “sport” that I was genuinely good at. The game favors players who have social skills, the ability to read people and body language, the ability to bluff (or act), and perform some calculations. I spent the next few years learning all about the game, paying my dues (I called it “poker tuition”), and becoming a better player.
I found that I excelled at tournament games much more than in cash games. Tournament poker typically involves playing No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em Poker with a fixed buy-in and an equal stack of “playing chips.” The chips are not related to the price of the tournament. For example, a buy-in might be $20 but everyone in the tournament could receive $10,000 in poker chips. Tournaments could last many hours as players knock each other out of the game. Most poker players are friendly, show great sportsmanship, and really enjoy just playing the game. If you’re fortunate enough to be rewarded at the end, it’s like frosting on the proverbial poker cake.
Poker is played in casinos, city leagues, clubs, and in garages and the living rooms of homes across the country. Unlike other casino games or slot machines which is considered gambling, the game of poker pits players against other players. Poker players never play against The House (casinos). So it’s a battle of wits, talent, skill, and some random elements you might call luck. That’s why poker has been deemed a sport, not gambling, by many courtroom decisions around the country.
Whether I view poker as a sport or a hobby is irrelevant to me. It’s an enjoyable pastime that rewards the strongest players with modest or large financial payouts. Sure, the winnings are appealing but I love everything about the game. I love the hours of playing cards with others, the socializing, the banter, devising strategies, varying my play (tight vs. aggressive, representing weakness vs. strength, etc.), and always learning a little more about the game. It is the perfect game, in my opinion, and I only wish I’d found it sooner.
Well, that wasn’t so painful. Have you considered doing this little exercise yourself? I want to challenge you to examine why you do the things you do. It’s more interesting to me than learning what it is you do with your time. So let me know in the comments below. Thanks!
Pressed & Perplexed 
Leave a comment